When it comes to leadership, there are certain characteristics that are vital to be the leaders that God would have us to be. Last week we looked at the importance of overcoming pride and practicing humility. If you didn’t get to read it, you can find it here, “Pride or Humility”. This week I would like to look at a characteristic that is missing from the lives of many leaders. That characteristic is LOVE.I can remember when I was a boy, my mom would always ask me how much I loved her. I would respond by opening my arms as far as I could to show her how much. Although I was sincere at the time, if I were honest, I would have to say that I didn’t really understand what love was. In that moment I “felt” love towards my mom but when she had to correct me I didn’t always “feel” the same. If we look at 1 Corinthians 13 we can see that love is neither a feeling nor just words, but a decision that we make and an action that we take. This is vital to our Christian lives because I often counsel people, and they something like this, “There is no remedy for our problem, I just don’t love him anymore”. To me the answer to their problem is easy. If they say I don’t love him anymore, I simply ask, “Well when did you decide to stop loving him?” All it takes in a situation like that is for them to decide to love the other person and start showing it, even if they don’t feel like it. So when look at 1 Corinthians 13 we can see that the description of true love is that it suffers long and is kind, it is not envious or prideful, it is not selfish and is patient, it always sees the best in someone, it trusts and endures till the end. Now, whether it is marriage, the church, or as a leader, these things should define the way that we treat others. I have created an acronym to show how this should play out in our leadership.
Living for others.
When we look at 1 Corinthians 13, one of the things that stands out is that love is not selfish, but always looks to please others. It doesn’t seek it’s own, or look to harm or get revenge on anyone else. Love in essence is living for others. So as leaders we must overcome any selfishness or self centeredness and begin to put others first in our lives. The greatest example of this attitude that I have seen is the example of Jesus washing His disciple’s feet. This even shook the disciples a little as we can see with Peter’s response that he didn’t want Jesus to wash his feet. What a show of humility and true servanthood. That is why Jesus said, “I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done unto you”, and “happy are ye if you do these things”. So to be a true leader we must first be a servant and put others first in our lives.
Overlooking the mistakes of others.
The next thing that we see in 1 Corinthians 13 is patience. True love is alway very patient and forgiving. We can see words used in this passage like, suffer, endure, bear all things, and is not easily provoked. How often as leaders do we loose our patience with those that we are leading? How easy is it to judge those that we are leading more harshly than we judge ourselves. This does not mean that we don’t try to help others with their problems. What it means is that we are patient, kind and forgiving when they make mistakes and especially when it is against us.
Valuing others.
Another key to leading with love is that we see a person not only for who they are, but for who they can become. We see towards the end of the passage that it says that love thinks no evil, believes all things and hopes all things. Often when we see the errors of others we might think that it is just easier to do the job ourselves instead of trying to lead them, but that is the exact opposite of love. Love values others and sees what they can become, and we show that when we love and help them. Even when those who we are leading fail, we show them that we believe in them and hope, or anticipate what God can do in and through them.
Enabling others to be all they can be.
The end result of leading people with love, is that we will take them as far as possible to make them a success in their own leadership. We can try to lead people by forcing them to follow us but that is not true leadership. The only way that people will truly follow us, and do it because the want to, is if they realize that, and we show them that we love them. Loves endures until the end and by leading with love we can teach those that we lead to also lead with love.
So maybe now would be a good time to evaluate your own leadership and see if these characteristics can be found. Are you focused on others or only on your own goals? Are you patient and kind to others, treating them as you would like for them to treat you? Are you willing to “endure” the faults and weaknesses of those that you are leading so that you can make them the best person that they can be? If not, then I would like to encourage you to ask God to help you lead with love just as He leads us.